John:

Today’s lock: Spurs vs. Lakers under 203

Because I don’t feel great about anything else on the board. Isn’t Kobe hurt?

Marty:

Today’s lock: Astros over Dodgers (+124)

Note to jabroni sportswriters: feasting on the Padres does not make the Dodgers a good team. This is the only time I will bet the Astros… this week.

Bill:

Today’s lock: Penguins over Flyers (-190)

The Flyers are not closing out the Penguins in Pittsburgh. Sorry, awful Philly fans. No chance.

John:

Today’s lock: Cubs over Marlins (+140)

We have to win eventually, right?

Marty:

Today’s lock: Twins vs. Yankees under 10 runs

I’m not sure the Twins could put up five runs in my softball league.

Billy:

Today’s lock: Nationals over Astros (-165)

Because the Pirates aren’t playing today.

John:

Today’s lock: Nationals -1.5 over the Astros

Jordan Zimmerman good. Houston Astros bad. The 2012 Astros make the Cubs look like the ’98 Yankees. This may be the only time where you can safely use the Martingale betting strategy if you bet against the ‘Stros all year.

Marty:

Today’s lock: Swansea City Reserves vs. Norwich City Reserves under 2.5 goals

When betting on a Premier League game with no starters, always, ALWAYS take the under. This is one of those gambling lessons you can only learn the hard way, like “don’t be the a**hole betting don’t pass” or “if a guy sits at the blackjack table and puts a single $20 on the table, leave immediately.”

Billy:

Today’s lock: Rays +105 over Blue Jays

I like the Blue Jays. I like Brandon Marrow. We really are going to favor them both over David Price and the Rays though? Come on. Marrow has an ERA of 2.57 and a FIP of 5.55. That is hard to do. Today, Marrow sees what happens when your BABIP against isn’t .108.

But how old is he?

As we all recover from our Jamie Moyer win hangover, Buster Olney (and others) have taken it upon their broad shoulders to let us know just how old Jaime Moyer really is. Some tidbits:

: Elias: Jamie Moyer has pitched to eight percent of all hitters in major league history.

: Moyer made his debut against Carlton, who made his debut against Larry Jackson, who pitched in his debut against Hank Sauer, who Sauer, who played in his debut against Paul Waner, who played his first series game in 1927 against Babe Ruth. Moyer/Ruth…FIVE degrees.

: Jamie Moyer’s first start — June 16, 1986. Opposing starting pitcher was Steve Carlton, who is now 67 years old.

Well, I don’t have Elias at my back, but I do have Baseball-Reference. And, here is the definitive six degrees of separation:

The oldest player in baseball in Jamie Moyer’s first season (1986) was Pete Rose.

The 2nd oldest player in baseball in Pete Rose’s first season (1963) was Stan Musial.

The oldest player in baseball in Stan Musial’s first season (1941) was Charlie Root.

The oldest player in baseball in Charlie Root’s first season (1923) was Babe Adams.

The oldest player in baseball in Babe Adams’ first season (1906) was Patsy Donovan.

The oldest player in baseball in Patsy Donovan’s first season (1890) was Cap Anson, who started his career in 1871.

Bow to me Olney. Bow.

Is Matt Kemp Going To Be Baseball’s First 50/50 Man? Absolutely not.

Words saved: 722

Should The White Sox Try Something Different At Closer? The White Sox, and all other teams, shouldn’t have a pre-defined closer.

Words saved: 650

Could The Mets Keep Surprising Us? Is a 7-3 record over a 10 game span a sample size large enough to create surprise? The answer to both their question and mine is, “no.”

Words saved: 1034

What’s Wrong With Tim Lincecum? He is hurt, and we don’t know it. Or, nothing.

Words saved: 779

Total words saved: 3185

John:

Today’s lock: Mets over Braves (even)

One of the starting pitchers was discovered by the brother-in-law of Cheech Marin. The other starting pitcher is from a town that translates to The Table, Panama. The only Cub I can think of from Panama used to rub fruit on his bat, and I have been taught to never bet against a former Tovar Meridia athlete of the year, so this is a no brainer.

Marty:

Today’s lock: Royals over Tigers (even)

First rule of betting on baseball: Any time two guys named Chen are starting on the same day in the majors, you have to bet one. But don’t bet on the one who is an Oriole.

Billy:

Today’s lock: Twins over Yankees (+205)

If the Twins can beat the Yankees with Carl Pavano, they sure as hell can beat them with Francisco Liriano. Five years ago, I would have bet my life on this.

John:

Yesterday’s lock: Rockets/Jazz under 197 – – Total ends up being 194, scarier than I am guessing Johnny boy though, but still a win.

Today’s lock: Boston Bruins – 180 over Washington

“Two words. Braden Holtby. See you at the bank.”

Marty:

Yesterday’s lock: Yankees -1.5 over Baltimore – – Yankees 6-4 in 10. Sneaks by.

Today’s lock: Cubs/Brewers under 7.5

“Garza vs. Greinke, a cool April day at the Friendly Confines, one of the three worst offenses in baseball (hello, Twins and Astros!). What am I missing here? [Bonus bet: Bo Van Pelt -170 to finish better than Aaron Baddelley at the RBC Heritage]“

Billy:

Yesterday’s lock: Tigers over Tampa -173 – – Verlander pitches 8 scoreless, then blows up in the 9th. Whatever, didn’t want to try to calculate the winnings anyway.

Today’s lock: Giants -120 over the Rockies

“A 49 year old, with a 76 MPH fastball, is pitching against a 22 year old in Colorado today. What else really has to be said?”

Current +/-

John: $10 (1/1)
Marty: $10 (1/1)
Billy: -$10 (0/1)

7-4 loss to Milwaukee: Malholm shelled early, hitters can’t recover.

2-1 loss to Milwaukee: Dempster good, Gallardo better.

Blame Points:

April 10th:

Starting Pitching: 3 – Malholm sucked big titties

April 11th:

Hitting/Baserunning: 3 – 1 run? Come on.

Current Tally:

Defense: 0
Management/Coaching: -1
Starting Pitching: -2
Hitting/Baserunning: -3
Bullpen: -6

Defense takes the lead, by default.

Castro Error Meter:

Throwing error in the 1st inning of yesterday’s game. Next play was a double play to end the inning. Crisis averted, again.

Current Tally:

Game outcome effecting errors: 0
Non-Game outcome effecting errors: 2

Around the Minors:

Wellington Castillo goes yard, Josh Vitters is raking, and Randy Wells got rocked. More to come in future posts.

John: Rockets/Jazz under 197.

“One team’s leading scorer is Kevin Martin. The other team’s leading scorer is Al Jefferson. Unless Tom Chambers and Vernon Maxwell are suiting up this game isn’t going north of 185.”

Marty: Yankees -1.5 over Baltimore.

“That’s right, I am taking the spread in baseball. Somebody call the pit boss over. Yankees and the rest of the AL East predators will spend all year getting fat on the O’s “pitching.” Might make a nice parlay with the over.”

Billy: Tigers over Tampa -173.

“When Verlander pitches, bet the Tigers. Enough said.”

Current +/-

John: $0
Marty: $0
Billy: $0

Big Club Recap:

7-5 loss to the Milwaukee Brewers

Blame points:

Starting Pitching: 1 – if you can’t muster a quality start, you probably did your team a disservice.

Bullpen: 1 – 4 runs in 4 innings. That is not a magical night.

Management/Coaching: 1 – Soto/Byrd 7/8 with Soriano, Barney, Stewart and DeJesus in the lineup is hilariously poor. I don’t know what Soto did to deserve to be in the bottom third of the lineup, but it needs to stop. Leaving Camp in for two innings, using Jeff Samardzija as a pinch runner (forget speed, how about putting a starting pitcher and trade asset at risk for no reason), and using Johnson/DeWitt/Clevenger as pinch hitters when the only reason Mather is on the roster is because he was “hot” in spring training also factor into this point being doled out.

Current Tally:

Starting Pitching: 1
Hitting/Baserunning: 0
Defense: 0
Management/Coaching: -1
Bullpen: -6

Castro Error Meter:

No new errors.

Current Tally:

Game outcome effecting errors: 0
Non-Game outcome effecting errors: 1

Around the Minors:

Iowa Cubs (PCL): 10-6 win over Albuquerque. Anthony Rizzo 3-3 with 2 HR’s. Josh Vitters: 2-4. Brett Jackson 1-5.

Tennessee Smokies (SOU): 3-2 win over Chattanooga. Brooks Raley, 6 1/3 – 2 ER.

Daytona Cubs (FSL): 4-3 loss to Dunedin. Greg Rohan 2-2, 4 RBI’s.

Peoria Chiefs: 8-3 loss to Quad Cities