Rooftop Report
  • Archives
  • April20th

    Where me and my friends bring you our stone cold locks for the day. If you are smart, you would heed the advice. I mean, probably not, but, it would be fun.

    John:

    Today’s lock: Spurs vs. Lakers under 203

    Because I don’t feel great about anything else on the board. Isn’t Kobe hurt?

    Marty:

    Today’s lock: Astros over Dodgers (+124)

    Note to jabroni sportswriters: feasting on the Padres does not make the Dodgers a good team. This is the only time I will bet the Astros… this week.

    Bill:

    Today’s lock: Penguins over Flyers (-190)

    The Flyers are not closing out the Penguins in Pittsburgh. Sorry, awful Philly fans. No chance.

  • April19th

    Where me and my friends bring you our stone cold locks for the day. If you are smart, you would heed the advice. I mean, probably not, but, it would be fun.

    John:

    Today’s lock: Cubs over Marlins (+140)

    We have to win eventually, right?

    Marty:

    Today’s lock: Twins vs. Yankees under 10 runs

    I’m not sure the Twins could put up five runs in my softball league.

    Billy:

    Today’s lock: Nationals over Astros (-165)

    Because the Pirates aren’t playing today.

  • April18th

    Where me and my friends bring you our stone cold locks for the day. If you are smart, you would heed the advice. I mean, probably not, but, it would be fun.

    John:

    Today’s lock: Nationals -1.5 over the Astros

    Jordan Zimmerman good. Houston Astros bad. The 2012 Astros make the Cubs look like the ’98 Yankees. This may be the only time where you can safely use the Martingale betting strategy if you bet against the ‘Stros all year.

    Marty:

    Today’s lock: Swansea City Reserves vs. Norwich City Reserves under 2.5 goals

    When betting on a Premier League game with no starters, always, ALWAYS take the under. This is one of those gambling lessons you can only learn the hard way, like “don’t be the a**hole betting don’t pass” or “if a guy sits at the blackjack table and puts a single $20 on the table, leave immediately.”

    Billy:

    Today’s lock: Rays +105 over Blue Jays

    I like the Blue Jays. I like Brandon Marrow. We really are going to favor them both over David Price and the Rays though? Come on. Marrow has an ERA of 2.57 and a FIP of 5.55. That is hard to do. Today, Marrow sees what happens when your BABIP against isn’t .108.

  • April17th

    Where me and my friends bring you our stone cold locks for the day. If you are smart, you would heed the advice. I mean, probably not, but, it would be fun.

    John:

    Today’s lock: Mets over Braves (even)

    One of the starting pitchers was discovered by the brother-in-law of Cheech Marin. The other starting pitcher is from a town that translates to The Table, Panama. The only Cub I can think of from Panama used to rub fruit on his bat, and I have been taught to never bet against a former Tovar Meridia athlete of the year, so this is a no brainer.

    Marty:

    Today’s lock: Royals over Tigers (even)

    First rule of betting on baseball: Any time two guys named Chen are starting on the same day in the majors, you have to bet one. But don’t bet on the one who is an Oriole.

    Billy:

    Today’s lock: Twins over Yankees (+205)

    If the Twins can beat the Yankees with Carl Pavano, they sure as hell can beat them with Francisco Liriano. Five years ago, I would have bet my life on this.