In the spirit of full disclosure, I feel I should probably get something out of the way. I’m a Keanu Reeves fan. I celebrate the guy’s entire catalogue. I understand that he gets a bad rap for all the “whoa”-s and the blank stares, and maybe rightly so. There’s nothing I can do about it, except admit the truth. There, I said it.
Before the 20th Century Fox fanfare has even finished playing, I’ve already made judgements in my head about this movie. First of all, I’m wary of any blockbuster-type movie with an overt political agenda, especially one that is easily construed as left-leaning (in this case, global warming or the general mistreatment of the earth by humans). Right off the bat, the term “Hollywood liberal” is going to be thrown at us, whether we want to hear about it or not. The notion of the “Hollywood liberal” is offensive to me on many levels, both as a human being and as a liberal. For starters, I can count on one hand the number of actors I want being the face of liberalism. Actually, a double amputee can count that number. Furthermore, the rise of reality tv, celebrity tv, celeb-reality tv, et al. has cast a shadow on the notion Hollywood liberalism in general. If a conservative uses the term as a slur against anyone who, in their view, inappropriately uses their popularity and public platform as a springboard for a socially progressive agenda, that’s one thing. It’s stupid, but I suppose you can argue merit given the aforementioned lack of quality political spokespeople from the entertainment industry. But now the term “celebrity” is applied so freely that anyone with a pulse, a reasonably attractive body, and a willingness to subject themselves to humilation and the court of public disapproval can become a “star.” Put it this way: No one from “The Hills” speaks for me on any issue. Ever. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, it’s hard for me to take your message seriously, you purveyors of piety in Lala-land, if your entire enterprise is financed by a megacorporation. I’m not against corporations, I’m not against capitalism, and I love the movies. But you can’t expect me to appreciate the “let’s be kind to this Earth, it’s the only one we’ve got” sentimentality as I sit in a 16 screen megaplex with state-of-the-art surround sound and a high definition screen watching advertisements for SUVs and soda pop. To put it mildly, this is a very tough place to sell Green.
Anyway, the movie. As Klaatu — a cold, calculating alien mind sent to determine if humanity is worthy of living on Earth — Keanu delivers lines in effortless monotone and operates with his patented vacant expression, meaning this role was just screaming his name before the ink had even dried. Again, I’m not bothered by Keanu as so many are, so I found him enjoyable. In fact, there’s something almost soothing about the way Klaateanu (see how I did that?) handles his business. Jennifer Connelly, by contrast, spends the entire movie ever so close to weeping uncontrollably, what with her dead husband, attitude-y stepson, and the whole humanity is too dumb to change until it’s too late thing. I suppose if you calculate it as an average, the emotional output from the costars is about right. Kathy Bates is more or less her usual self as the folksy Secretary of Defense, while all of the other roles are so generic that it’s hardly worth noting any of them (other than Will Smith’s kid as Connelly’s stepson, every other person in this movie is either a benevolent scientist or warmongering government official).
This is another issue for me. Movies based on science fiction stories lose a lot in translation. In film, you simply cannot recreate the often subversive thematic elements that good science fiction frequently contains, and if you can it’s a fair bet that the movie wasn’t made by a major studio. For a good example of a movie that is an outstanding exception, go rent “A Scanner Darkly,” which coincidentally also stars my boy Keanu. “Earth,” a remake of a 1951 film of the same name (itself based on a sci-fi short story called “Farewell to the Master”), lacks any of the subtlety of a truly engaging piece of cinema. The scientists want to learn from the aliens and share their findings with the world. The government wants to: A) blow up everything B) if plan A fails, attempt to cover everything up with misinformation C) if plans A and B fail, return to plan A.
Government = bad, scientists = good, humanity = stupid, special effects = cool. I feel like we’ve been here before.
To summarize: Keanu = good, movie = dumb.
